Time reminds me of the Feeling I once Had

Can I care about someone.
Someone who was once very fun.
Her laughter and kind smile.
Allows to me stay for a while.
Had feelings for her, He fell for her.
In the end, it doesn’t matter, Now he feels worse.
He had made her feel uncomfortable around him.
He could not begin to think about what he just did.
He loved her so much but yet life took a different path.
Instead of a relationship, He wanted her to feel his wrath.
It leaves him with one part that’s him and the other that’s not.
He wonders half of the time, did she care for like or was she the fox.
She told him that he should move on, yet he didn’t understand why.
Because of the problem he had, she would feel sad and cry.
He tries to explain himself, but she doesn’t listen.
He is like the bad fish she caught,
She just lets it go and keeps fishing.
What make him upset it that it was his 1st time.
Falling in love and then losing what was so kind.
Did she me a lot to him?
Yes
But now a new hope brings him forward.
He feel his personality is lower.
Leaving everything else behind and bad things.
He has his faith to see what life has to bring.
Not everything works the way its supposed to be.
But once can she see what I mean.
he want to be there for her, then and now.
But he can only be her friend, he feels down.
Can his words reach her heart?
Who knows, He won’t rip it apart.
The light from above shine brightly.
I need to stop thinking of myself so badly.
He has friends who accepts his presence , so gladly
As he looks up into the tree.
He sees a squirrel and little kitty.
Getting along is one thing people need to work on.
To find that true relationship, be yourself or run along.

Summer

Summer is almost here.
Getting to the middle of the year
The sun is out shining brightly.
Flowers come in looking nicely.
Looking out the window, seeing the birds.
The laughter of friends can also be heard.
Running through the fields with my dog.
In the barn, you can the hear the hogs.
Squealing and running, wanting something to eat.
Just like me when I want pork and beans.
New York is hot and so is the country.
But it isn’t as bad as the lightning hitting a tree.
God blesses us with good weather each day.
With people passing on, I will keep my faith.
It is sad to see them gone, but they will always be there.
You can’t be mad at yourself and say its unfair.
They are there in your heart, just waiting.
Hold on to them, even while you are skating.
Living on a island would be fun.
But it isn’t as fun being alone with no one.
Life is project you work on, but not alone.
Like being with friends while eating smores.
It takes time but things will get better.
Hanging by the pool it will much wetter.
Splash some water, cool down a bit.
Don’t get carried away, it just a switch.
Take time out for yourself.
Have fun with friends and nothing else.

I am Here.. Yet this is how I feel :(

In the morning I wake up to a new day.
My mouth feels like I just ate some hay.
What is going on with me,
Am I going crazy.
Is everyone my enemy?
Can I trust myself?
No
It is just me and no one else.
What else is there for me here.
Everyday people look at me weird.
That same look that often looms.
In my mind or in my room.
The devil laughs in my face.
Treating me like a bunch of waste.
Will I be missed if I left this world.
If so, please untangle this swirl.
I want to say I sorry to this friend
Not being myself made this friendship end.
Such evil in me exist.
Pray for me if you insist.
I don’t expect no one to come to help.
Hiding in the corner feeling like a lost whelp.
Smiling is something that is hard for me to do.
I want to make you see that I do care about you.
Let me just say my peace,
Before you know it, I am labeled : DECEASED.
In my mind you haven’t left
But this more than just a bet.
My friends is more important than playing games.
That you help me before makes you more than just the same.
No more will I burden you with my problems or personalities.
Hurting you makes me lose my sense of mortality.
I am human, and yet too long I didn’t see.
Blinded by what seemed to be and wasn’t.
You might hate and despise.
The one thing I would not do to you is lie.
If I have fallen that low.
The line has been drawn, I dare not go.
Forgiveness is something I ask for, not expect.
Because of my problem and its effects.
After this I don’t know what’s next.
I hope you will see that hurting you
Is something that I will regret.
If you hate me I understand
What else can I do, I am just a man.
I was once a boy who didn't think.
But time after time the load began to stink.
Tired of carrying it wherever I may walk.
Like crabs in those arctic waters, I am tired of getting caught.
My past is one thing but it should not affect who I care about.
Choose to live on or be in a corner and pout.
I worry for the safety of others because I care.
It not just your world, It's mine too so why can't we share?

"That Ominous Feeling"

You start alone and unsure on what to do.
Before you walk out the door think things through.
What had happened that day.
I was left behind with nothing to say.
Walking to a place I past so many times.
A strange place I’m in, I wonder what I’ll find.
Running around in a circle, blaming yourself.
Sometimes it isn’t your fault and it could be something else.
Looking into mirror and jump back at what I see.
Confused all of sudden, Is that me?
The dull blades that pierce the heart.
It feels as time itself has just ripped apart.
Everything is a mess, nowhere to go.
The arrow is near and so is the bow.
To make everything straight and neat.
To stand up feeling humble and not weep.
Remember on the cross, he died for us.
For that to happen, that was no luck.
Families need each other for support and love .
That tragedies that affect us each day.
The best thing would be to hug and not shove.
Pushing people that matter away.
The time draws closer and days go faster.
Getting attune with yourself, realizing you are the master.
You can only be you.
Coping someone makes you the fool.
I was alone in dark, until I made to the light.
Without my friends in mind, I would have lost the fight.
Now is my turn to help you.
We’ll get to it together as friends too.
No one should feel sad or upset.
I know what pain is but now I forget.
I keep that behind me and remember what’s in front.
Life is unpredictable, oh watch out for the bumps.
For they can cause you to crash.
If you take it out on others, then you’re an ass.
I am thankful for the people I met here.
Your words of encouragement have reached my ears.
Never change when you are already feel free.
This is just one of many roads of destiny.

Before I Die.... My Very 1st poem

Before I depart from here,There's a lot of things to say.
God is near so I really need to pray.
I'm Thankful for all the good times I've shared,
Though I leave loved ones behind, but still I care.
My Life has been a journey, both good and bad
Even though I think about it, I still feel sad.
Piece of time flash before my eyes.
When look back i think of what could have been mine.
In the end when the time comes there are no mistakes.
All up until now comes the last breath i take.
One last look at the peaceful view.
I turn my head to look up at you.
On the bed I try to see, but my vision is blurry.
The sign of death telling me to hurry.
I can hear u still and I reach for your face.
All I say i love you and my heart begin to race.
Goodbye everyone and everything that I hold dear.
It is disappointing that i didn't make to next year

Amnesia Epidemic :(

Who Am I ?
What is my name what is my purpose.
How did I get here.
Did I walk to get to this point in my life.
I lost a part of myself .
Forgot about who I am and everyone else.
Why am I Unhappy?
Do you care for me
If that true then why I am feeling so blue.
People come and go in my life.
The wars continue on with so much strife.
Make this feeling go away.
I tried everything but it just stays.
Am I endangered to everyone around me.
What should I should I do?
My heart beats like a small drum.
I may be weird in the head unlike some.
Back Then I was Lonely in a house.
Still and quiet just like a mouse.
Tears fill my eyes and roll down my eyes.
I want to hear the truth, no more lies.
Looking at my deck, wanting to duel
Remembering all my friends
I know my anger will not come to rule.
After all they have done to help me out.
I know I am strong, there’s no need pout.
Do we let people control us or do we have choice.
Its better to stand your ground and have a voice.
Of course there were those time where you were the problem.
Knowing that it isn’t true, why do you look so solemn?
I play cards with my friends, it’s a good game.
You look at like I’m retarded, we are all the same.
God sent us here to live and be happy.
Why should one comment make you feel crappy.
Feeling the wind blow, I take a deep breath.
Looking at someone who felt the touch of death.
Missing that person so much.
Was it all just bad luck.
Keeping faith and unyielding devotion.
When something bad happen, people encourage the commotion.
Take time out to think things through.
There are people out in your life that care about you.

Questions for the Average Person

Hey is there something going on?
One minute you’re there and the next you’re gone.
Is there anyone there to see if I ok.
Its seem like you were interested for one day.
If that’s true then what am I to you.
Am I your friend because I am no fool.
You say something but eyes say a lot more.
I can look at you all day and not get sore.
Do you like me as I am?
I like you the way you are.
Be yourself and don’t change for nobody.
I will follow my path and not be a phony.
Times are changing and I am too.
Seeing people dying on the news
What they did do?
It sad for the families who have go through this.
Just like the grizzly losing his fish.
Help is needed and people doing the good.
Doing that to put a smile on the kids faces.
I know I would.
Ignoring people who care is just plain dumb.
Feeling lonely, all over people feel numb.
To Love, to be able to reach that person.
It hits you much faster than my racing heart.
Having Honey with tea, smooth and sweet.
And something good to eat.
Everyone should be entitled to that.
If not, then how about a cute cat.

Raining Days, Lonely Ghost

One raining day I met this ghost.
Worried about the person he cares for the most.
I walk through him feeling his loss.
Some things aren’t worth it , no matter what the cost.
Stuck here because of his unfinished business.
When died on the inside, he never got to eat those red fishes.
Feeling like there is no hope left to live.
Society makes him feel like a unwanted kid.
Living each day on the street in a box.
Can’t trust the people out there, they’re just bunch of crocs.
He wants to know what is peace?
It like a sunny day without any grief.
Grateful that someone acknowledge him.
He tells me his name is Jin.
Feeling ready, he forgives himself.
Taking what everyone says he ignores it all.
Going out feeling good about everything.
Funny what the day will bring.
Looking at people and trying things out.
He has better things to do than pout.
Thanking him for having him as a friend.
I know he there’s until the very end.
Friendship goes a long way.
All it takes is a smile and saying “Hey”
Helping others makes all the difference
Regardless of what people talk about.
It makes you feel a little better about yourself.
So go for it and don’t look back.
Also don’t forget to take a snack.

What Goes on in my Head 3

One minute I am here, the next I’m not.
I feel like am sturdy and immovable like a rock.
I have people in my life who care.
So why do I feel like my situation is unfair.
I am different.
So what, if I am doesn’t really matter.
No in my mind its all scattered.
My ideas and my dreams.
Can I make that become a reality.
Or will I fall to my own mortality.
Time is unpredictable, so that’s it flows.
Being there for others, That is what matter most.
Somewhere I belong is where I feel like myself .
Not regretting who I am, that’s all and nothing else.
Giving out to those who don’t have nothing.
Your support and smiles count as something.
They mean more than any amount of money.
Its hard as the queen making the honey.
In Congress, decisions are being made.
We have come along way since the world trade.
Never forgetting the brave men and women
Who showed us what it means to be strong.
God Leads me and others to the future ahead.
Keep the faith strong until you reach for the bed.

Rewinding The Tape.

Sometimes I wish I could back in time.
And I did what would I find.
Me as 13 waiting for someone to come save me.
Accused of stealing.
I was scared and belittled.
Feeling cramp like a pack of skittles.
I am different and something else.
There is no need to think only myself.
Glad I found a way out.
Feeling better just like falling through clouds.
Card games and consoles as my friends.
It felt like I was getting near the end.
Meeting people and speaking to others.
I just don’t want to be seen as bother.
Like High School, it was rough.
After 4 yrs, I think that was enough.
Making a Vow to myself to pass school.
After the 2nd semester it was cool.
Good times and early bird to make me happy.
Until I left everyone behind, I felt real crappy.
Now, I have nothing holding me back.
Eating Oranges Slices for my snack,
I seek to ask for wisdom for the times ahead.
It was bad then good will always win.
Listen to LP, my favorite band,
Reaching out, To help me to stand.
I reach for the Honey for it’s sweet.
Reassuring and good to eat.
To the early bird who feels caged.
I open the cage to allowed it to fly away.
See it spreading it wings, to show its grace.
Things shouldn’t rushed. Live life at your own pace.
For the train is coming, so don't be late.
Forget the bad things, It will all go great.
The candle in all of us still burns.
Everyone has had a go so when is it my turn?
Smiling for everyone to see.
The sun shines ever so brightly.

Looking Within Myself

A new thing has happened.
Like the egg shells cracking.
To me that is a fresh start .
Hoping that nothing will drive us apart.
Giving it my all to stand on my two feet.
Nearby the green parakeet goes tweet.
Within myself an enemy lies in wait.
The chaos spreads over the gate.
Thinking, it brings back memories.
Some were bad while others were funny.
To hold myself responsible for what I have done.
I have done everything, except look up and have fun.
Friends to help out with me, never forgetting their faces.
Looking at honey from afar, my heart races.
Alabama, Queens, Nassau, who knows.
All of me needs time to grow.
Realizing that helping myself and others.
If you think about it, we like sisters and brothers.
All these things keep me going.
I’ll be everything except a phony.
Be laid back and carefree or become something.
I want to better myself and protect everything.
I know I can’t do that, but I can try.
Just sitting around, Time is passing you by.
My heart giving off a steady beat.
I try to print but it doesn’t always come out neat.
My mind is like a VCR playing moments in my life.
To be honest, I wish I was more like Cloud Strife.
With my sword and calm attitude, nothing can go wrong.
Reality kicks in telling me I’m listening to wrong song.

Inner Feeling

In my mind, you like the one thought I can’t get rid off.
But it seem lately like I pull and you shove.
Do you care about me?
I really do.
To me you are like the cure to my blues.
To atone for what I done to you in past.
I’m not immortal, I know I won’t last
To Push to your limit is not my goal.
It seem I am just digging my own hole.
I am there for you and you say “ I know”
Time doesn’t stop for anyone, it continues to grow.
I can’t choose what choice to makes.
Having faith in my self ,I do have what it takes.
Pain is always there , it never goes away.
Its like a lioness on the hunt for her prey.
Do I hate you?
No
It takes time to overcome things.
Like you, I also have dreams
But please don’t act like I don’t exist.
Surely it be you who I’ll miss.
Filling up the void is hard work.
Like the woodpecker pecking on the birch.
Everything in life has to have balance.
Its not easy to acquire….

A New Beginning

Out of this shell comes out this boy.
He has been inside for 15 years.
In the real world, he finds no joy.
All that sadness just bring him to tears.
Kicked out by his mother into the cold street.
Hurt by the betrayal, he doesn’t know what to do.
His mood, like the song that skips a beat.
Hoping for a miracle, for it to come soon.
In the pass he had high hopes for girl he really loved.
Until that day, he lost everything he care about.
Trying to see her, he pulls and she shoves.
Day after day , he falls on his knees and shout.
Walking in and out, going to see people that care.
Overcoming his past, he moves with confidence in his mind.
With ideas to move forward in life, he prepares.
Although he been through a lot , he remains to be kind.
He is slow learner but is a good person to be around.
All those things being said to him, they don’t matter.
He doesn’t care much for pounds.
Just like his fears, they all shatter.
He Thinks he alone but he is wrong.
Someone watches over him, even when he is sleeping.
To be with friends and have good times, that where he belongs.
His mind, now clear of all though bad thoughts he has been keeping.
Not looking back, he goes forward with strong faith.
God is protecting him from that old snake’s evil wishes.
Being held back before he goes through the gate.
There waiting for him a feast, He sees the Fish.